Unpublished Diary page of a home maker -5 (Pocahontas)

Pocahontas 

“You are my Pocahontas”, My father fondly nicknamed me with this unusual and unheard name, which depends on how one perceives, “playful one" or “ill-behaved child.” Its quoted from the history books, Pocahontas was the favorite daughter of Powhatan, the formidable ruler of more than 30 Algonquian-speaking tribes in and around the area that the early English settlers would claim as Jamestown, Virginia. She was famous for her bravery, generosity and more importantly she saved somebody’s life while risking her own. 

My growing up years was full of fun, adventure, laughter, and undivided attention is given to me not because I topped my class or did something great. Instead, I tried to find tricks to avoid monotonous school study books, rather I was interested in finding the root cause of the practical problems surrounding us. Trying to fix the radio which stops playing, looking after my pet cow ‘Gauri’ in the absence of the caretaker, even dreamt of the one-stop-shop catering to women needs (unheard in the 1980s), having my own library, how the tripod works if a spirit is called........ my list had infinite thoughts and answers unknown. But the only thing which I hated apart from cramming history facts was to study about the earth, to be precise, geography.  

Little changes did take place once I was married off but it didn’t deter my parents to ask me to do things that they thought I am best suited for. As soon as I use to enter my marital house I have been asked by my father to take care of his books and sometimes he asked me to take the printouts of the astrological charts of various people who came to consult him as it will save him from tedious calculations...I did but his faster than computer brain found faults and I had to rectify the calculations generated by computer software......Hats off to my dear Paa and to his tremendous confidence. He truly believed in my capabilities but which I always thought, I didn’t have. A staunch supporter of RSS, he always led a life on his own terms. 

As far as I remember I saw him suffering from Bronchial Asthma since the time I learned how to ride the tricycle. He did naturopathy and followed it to the T. Also cured himself for a brief period as it required a disciplined life and Maa helped him in doing that. Maa was always at his side taking care of and fulfilling his wishes, it taught me a lot. To look after a house is not an easy job ....it took its toll on my mother too....while construction work of the house was going on her health started deteriorating and she was down with multiple medical problems.   

I had to rush to visit them as soon as I get to know from Bhai that Maa is in a critical state. The whole house, my paa, Bhai, and bhabhi could find every possible medication and come out as a winner with Maa responding to the treatment. Paa was always very critical of his son’s style of treatment and gave his inputs instead to cure Maa. Their arguments always ended with a dead calm but over time I realized he has unshaken faith in his doctor son and doctor Bahu😍. 

The end of 2019 July jolted us to the core...Maa was miraculously saved by the treatment given by Bhai, bhabhi, and Paa’s continuous care. We were saved for the moment but I have been repeatedly asked by Paa to come and stay with them so that they get her treatment which can take her out from the bedridden state. 

Now comes his Pocahontas, that’s me. His belief in me and my presence gave him enough courage. With much discussion, persuasion, and efforts, I and Bhai convinced him to admit Maa to the hospital as it will be easy to get all the possible tests done staying in-house in a super specialty hospital of the town. Every day we both (Paa and I) struggled with the persistent problem of the bedridden patient. It’s quite easy when we say that we were there for Maa, twenty-four by seven. The pain of being in a vegetative state and inability to move the limbs and self is to killing. I am not saying euthanasia should be made legal but yes, can say with conviction that what a patient goes through in such a pathetic state to ask for such an action.

Almost after two weeks, I came back as the doctor advised her to be discharged from the hospital and we arranged the nurse for daytime who is going to be there with Maa to cater to all her needs including her medication. Bhai bought the recliner bed and placed it appropriately in the house where Maa feels comfortable. She was feeling better while I boarded the plane back home, thinking that’s why Paa calls me his Pocahontas. Hardly 4 days passed when I got an undesired call from Bhai that Maa suffered a severe stroke and she has been put onto the ventilator. As always I made up my mind to expect the worst. But hope is always alive when it comes to our loved ones. Couldn’t see that in Paa’s empty eyes. In silence, we shared our pain and he pleaded to me in muted words to save his better half for him. While sitting outside the ICU we discussed all the steps which could have prevented us to see this day. After 2 days of struggle, she left us ...Paa’s Pocahontas couldn’t save his beloved 😓. 

Some Indian definition means "One who complains a lot, Pohacon always argues" Which, by the way, her arguing to save the life of Somebody important. 

But here I failed to argue with God to save my Maa for my Paa. Time is a great healer, we survived the jolt and are still breathing. 

Lastly, the pandemic has turned our nerves to steel. Every other day we are survived while one of us is leaving, making us more and more insensitive towards death.